英文翻译与中文表述

因为要分享给LA奖学金的捐赠人，昨天我将LA的进深反思翻译成了英文。我先把中文逐句地翻译成英文，再把这些中式说法的英文按照英文的用语习惯和逻辑要求整理成通顺的英文。在这过程中才发现，我写的中文废话真多，太多了！我应该精简中文的表述，无论是口头还是书面的。

Reflection on L.A. 2009

A senior asked me three questions on my L.A. experiences: 1) what touched my heart the most? 2) what are the similarities or differences between L.A.'s messages and my belief, and what is the light those messages shed on my ongoing life path? 3) what is the message God delivered to me through such intensive programs and interpersonal interactions?

The most heart-touching lesson is to realize my passivity on burdening leader's responsibility lies in my stressful early life full of fierce competition. Unable to accept my vulnerability, self-abasement compelled me to compete with others with my dear life, thus gaining the self-affirmation by excelling others. Later I was tired of this competitive mentality, and thus I gave up the will to fight down everyone, however in the mean time, resulting in my unwillingness to exert abilities, to be the leader. During L.A., I began to accept my vulnerability under my mentors' guidance, and stepped out for leadership in spite of exposing my vulnerability. I began to encounter my authentic self.

The most important message is that people's caverned lives could be complemented in an authentic community, shared by Doctor Choi after the program of Water Cylinder. One couldn't plug all the caverns of the water cylinder, but he could manage so by relying on team members' efforts, or even on those of other groups. Similarly, to plug the caverns of life need an authentic community, and to become part of the authentic community requires giving up competitive mentality. I realized that other teams were indeed my teammates, instead of competitors, during the program of River Crossing. This realization of we-are-the-world brought revolutionary transformation to my self-identity understanding. To live in an authentic community means to trust; to lead means to think for the sake of others, because my teammates are my responsibilities. Those messages are different from my former faith that one should fight alone, and thus helped me commit myself to my peer community.

The reason I used to escape from the role of leader is that I didn't want to be engaged in competition any more, with the assumption that to be a leader requires excelling all others through competition. This assumption of leadership was changed during L.A., however, to a community-committed servanthood toward others. When I was considering which community to choose for serving, there came the program of Feet Washing by Mentors. Probably I was the only one in my team who didn't cry during feet washing, the reason I could freely accept my mentor's service lies in that I already had experienced Jesus' true love and acceptance. At that moment I got to understand the most important thing is not doing what service toward what people, but God loves me, I shall live in His love, and I shall walk with Him during my serving. This is also the most important message God delivers to me through L.A.